2011: Future brings some Flashbacks of the Past

2011 has arrived. How time passes! Next month I’ll be 18 years. People get shockingly surprised when they learn I am not yet 18 coz I have a bushy face. Needs constant grooming. Moreover, the problem is I’m quite lazy. So, I practically do nothing like trimming and eventually, my stubble gives way to a creepy looking weed. And I still don’t bother. I actually get irritated when people torture me with all the remarks. And I can’t fail to exclaim when I remember there was a time when, as I child, I craved for even a single trace of hair on my face.

When I was a small toddler, I used to see my seniors. I must be in 3rd-4th class. 12th seemed so far away like it would never ever come. Like school was all I got. And here I am about to complete my first semester in college. School seems like past now where college seemed to be a foggy future back then. When I entered 5th class it seemed like it took me forever reaching that milestone. And suddenly the next 7 years were a blur. Time used to stand still in the childhood days. But now it flies. When they say people are more fast paced now, I gaze accusingly at the clock. I cannot prove it but clock does run faster now.

I have always been a little eccentric personality. When children used to play and dance, I used to think about writing a diary so that I could capture these moments for the future (it doesn’t help that I’m a pathetic dancer). There was a period in between when I used to sit on the terrace in the night, alone, watching all the stars and the clouds drifting by and the moon playing hide-n-seek between them. I used to go round and round just to get that giddy feeling in the head. I used to…

Well, that time is gone and buried. I now sit all day long in front of a glowing screen, scrolling up and down a single page hundreds of times that has been central to my social life lately. However much I try to break away from Facebook, its long and slender tentacles lull me in a dreamy sleep where each of my status garners hundreds of likes. I guess I should try something new, like regularly updating this blog, or actually start studying. Or learn a new language. I recently tangentially met a girl who knows German. Sign language is also one of my goals.

This year has already been quite eventful for me. I found my wallet (had lost it last month). I revamped my blog. Main exams are going to start day after tomorrow. My plate is full. My appetite is larger than ever. Makes for a nice battle. Let’s see what the future holds for me.

Published in: on 2 Jan '11 at 3 pm  Comments (4)  

Am I lucky enough to eat fruits of my (misdirected) labour?

I have known since eternity, I am not certainly a person who can nourish a plant and watch it grow patiently, however much I want. I basically add water, add manure, give shade and fan the seed for a day. Next day I see sprouts. Hey! I run  excitedly to people around me, who look at me back coolly, ‘What?’ I then jump up and down to make them see my new soon-to-be tree. They see disinterested (every crowd behaves eerily the same). I am a little hurt (0k… maybe a little more). Can’t they people see?! It’s a brand new tree! I make a resolve. Not to talk to those people again. They will see the seedling grow into a big, bad tree. And when I’ll be basking in the glory (and shade) of that tree, they will feel jealous they didn’t listen.

I come back to my seed. Oh no! I forgot the water. I run and get the water, the food… but wait shade is not that important. First let me update an FB status how my plant is growing. After a few days of work, I grow restless. Can’t this plant grow faster? But no, this takes time, I reason. But manure is needed now. Which particular brand should I use? And the quantity? I refer to net, experienced people…. whichever source of information I get my hands on. And it mostly is Wikipedia. Now everyone knows how evil that site is. It is a jumbled forest. No one knows why did they enter the forest in the first place. I somehow start discovering why Big Bang is rejected by some cosmologists. In the end, I am tired. And I go to bed. My tree is hungry. There is a guilt. But I’ll make up for it the next day.

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Published in: on 1 Jan '11 at 3 am  Comments (2)  

Diary of a… Diary

Wed, 17 Nov ’10

Dear Diary (that’s me!),

I was discovered when people started scribbling on caves. Historians have got it all wrong; the cavemen didn’t do those paintings for future generations. They did those paintings for their record. That’s why they were in caves so no one could see them. Duh!Since then, people share with me their deepest secrets. i loved to be the secretkeeper. But it has become a burden for me. So much so that I have to maintain my own diary so I myself don’t go insane.

Moreover, they irritate me with their so-called literature! Excellent works were done 200-300 years back. Since then writing habits have deteriorated to the point that I just have to close my eyes shut and my ears shut but their sights pierce my eyes and their voices pierce my ears; they are actually so much boring. Earlier it was more poetic and euphemistic; nowadays they just need a pen but no brain: just blabber on and on – expletives included – thinking no one will ever gonna read it. I’m reading it, you fool! Put a little more effort. Even they themselves read it again.

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Published in: on 21 Nov '10 at 11 pm  Comments (4)  

Can there be a perfect post?

I don’t remember when I wrote my last post. I got my lappie two weeks back. And since having Windows Live Writer, I always fuss about the formatting and the not the writing itself.

Well it’s not completely true. I fuss just too much on content too. There are a dozen drafts living in my dashboard since eternity. And many have died the cruel and sudden death of a whimsical delete button. After writing two paragraphs I start afresh thinking of a new idea. Even as I write this post, many things pull me away from it. I’m on and off the computer more than the net words I’ve written right now.

So I’ll explain how it all happens. Firstly, I notice I’ve not written my blog for quite some time now. I open it and just drool over  (for approximately 5 minutes) how nice looking the whole interface is and thank wordpress for it. Then I wonder if there exists any soul in the world who sees this beautiful webpage. Bang comes the dashboard and the stats in front of me. If I get a spike in recent views from 2 to jaw-dropping 3, I get excited enough to finally put FB aside and click the ‘new post’.

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Published in: on 17 Nov '10 at 12 am  Comments (1)  

My Honeymoon with a Black Box

There was a time in my life when I talked to my people. But how the life changes! Now I chat, text, ping, post but hardly ‘talk’. Let me make this clear – this post is not going in the direction of useless romantic nostalgia of the Days Long Back. Instead I’m turning inwards and see how technology has changed my life.

It has changed for the good, to be frank. And here’s your answer. For anyone who never was interested in my post or writing, but simply wanted to satiate his curiosity of knowing what happened at the end, he can go. For the post will here on delve into the deep end of how’s and why’s.

The computer came into my home about 6 years back when it became clear that PowerPoint presentations in schools were a way of life now and we couldn’t afford anymore to pay steeply to the cyber cafes. Before that I didn’t know a word of computer beyond MS Paint. I only saw computers in the school lab where they were intended to be untouched and unused for the next generation as artifacts. They even looked like one, the white zenith PCs (shudder to think they existed once upon a time!).
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Published in: on 20 Oct '10 at 6 pm  Comments (3)  


1- Write a program for D flip flop.

2- Write a blog entry for my recent trip to a hockey stadium. It was WoW!!




My hardly one or two (gasp!) readers,

These DiNGs are my way of reminding what I should be doing but I am postponing the thing to some ill-defined day in the Foggy Future. Also, I’m including these posts (there will be more to come), because what I’m not doing is as important as what I’m doing. And since this blog is created so that I can reflect upon my life, these DiNGs are super-critical for success of my mission.

Published in: on 6 Oct '10 at 1 pm  Comments (2)  

Who am I?

Who am I? Now I am not trying to be philosophical and facing existential questions of Life right now. I’m just trying to categorize myself into one of the groups we classify ourselves into. I’ve seen ever-smiling people, egoistic folks, charming, hot, utterly foolish and what not! But… who am I?

I try to see myself as a goody angel who only showered happiness and whose departure would be become a National Mourning Day. But then some thing or the other happens and I am forced to see the dark side of my soul.

Most people don’t know about all these complex things and live in the dark for the rest of their life. I’m not one of them. I early in my life was encouraged to raise questions. Now I raise too many questions so that my life has become restless. For example, why do people wear dark shades when suffering from eye flu? Why do the life around us mirrors the computer programs we develop? Do people really not have a conscience? Will I ever get rid of my FB addiction? How do people know God is (or conversely, not) there? Questions, questions everywhere, not a soul to quiz… alas!

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Published in: on 3 Oct '10 at 5 pm  Leave a Comment  

How I was Mainstreamed

When I was small, I was not exactly outgoing. Social interactions were always my weak point. Over at any guest’s place, however I wanted to eat that biscuit in the plate and however aunties persuaded me to do so, I never picked one up. I did all my stuff with few questions and hardly any objection (but I am not saying I was not lazy!). I enjoyed my time by watching all the drama called life, but never participated in it. Nothing ruffled my hair, so I was content.

On the other hand, my sister used to be the centre of attraction. She was comfortable with crowds, I preferred to run away to solitude. She used to push me to participate in school events. I still remember, I was a recurring figure whenever poem recitation competitions used to take place. And I was a total disaster. Only once did I completed my poem. Otherwise, I used to stare at the crowd (which stared back rudely at me), fidgeting and straining hard to remember the next line. But failure after failure, year after year, I went back to stage. It was only much later I realised that I am not made for these things.

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Published in: on 29 Sep '10 at 5 pm  Leave a Comment  

it’s my freshers tommorow!!

My blogs typically have been virtual diaries for me. If ever I lie in them, I have a guilt that haunts me for weeks. So, I have decided to be truthful and not say anything that is far from truth. That is, this blog will represent the frame of my mind at ‘that’ particular instant. More like a text-based camera. And I’m still in the search of the real me. Stumbling, facing or running away from life – each opens up a new aspect of me. And all thanks to FB, I like to share it all.

Well, today is a rather important as well as controversial topic. My Freshers. Now it is important because it has occupied my mind since like, the last couple of days? and controversial because even if a single person from my college gets to read it, I’m dead. Literally. Can only hope my readers keep this info with themselves only. *Fingers crossed*

Let’s start from the scratch. Before college, to me freshers was an important part of our college welcome. And I was mentally preparing how to get talking to my seniors. Since I am reserve by nature, I actually made elaborate plans in my mind how to overcome this inertia and how to get talking to random strangers, just like that.

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Published in: on 20 Sep '10 at 7 pm  Comments (2)  

The first roadblock

Well, I have many blogs spread all over the Net. So, why did I start this one when I don’t have the patience to go beyond one or two posts? Well, I can only say I love Windows Live. And I just wanted to use every feature I could.

But the single most important issue is that I want everyone to know who I am. There are misconceptions about who is the real me. Even to me. When I flashback to my past, I see tidbits and think, "Ooh, was I like that yesterday?" But no, time changes, place changes and with it manners change and so do the morals. Life is ever so growing and ever so flowing. And this blog is a small attempt to document it. Whenever I get the time.
So, in reality, this latest attempt has the same motivation behind as with all other previous efforts – to maintain a record that I can leaf through on some rainy day.
Coming back to me, I’m almost 18! New to college. New to buses. New to freedom. This has given me new dimensions to share and talk about. If you’re reading the blog. Simply write anything in the guestbook so that I get the tenacity to keep going and publish all this blah blah.
Published in: on 19 Sep '10 at 8 am  Comments (2)