Retrospection is funny!

I always like this vague idea of keeping my audience so interested, they will be coming back for more. And only once in my life this was coming out to be true. But I am the destructor of my own fortune (the more people are close to me, greater is the probability they have told me this, at least once).

Actually I saw my post, *DiNG*. I thought it would be a summary of my life. But it was a one post wonder, wonder in the sense I do wonder – whenever I see that post I wonder what I was thinking when I wrote it. But then I finally nailed today what my initial motto was – it was just to be a open journal of sort. And ironically, it is. A blank piece of paper lying around like a step child which no one cares about, whether it cries or hoots. Just like my future. Nothing is written in stone, clay or sand. Heck, I don’t even try to write my future in water. I just can’t follow a deadline. Forget about creating one.

Another motivation for this fault-finding mission is a just concluded (an hour ago) phone call with my friend. She asked me what backtracking meant in the shortest path algo. Don’t bother with details, it’s just that tomorrow is our exam so this talk makes sense. And I asked, what? what is backtracking? When she asked what I was doing, I told her I was checking Quora. Heck, this was a golden opportunity to try out the site. She wanted an answer, a thoughtful and well meaning answer that too in a short time – exactly what Quora is pitching itself as. Not exactly, but it is what people want it to do. But she refused to explain the question to me. And simply asked me if I had already done… some chapter… (I don’t remember the name). The thing is, I had not even heard of it. She tried to tell me it was a little like calculus, and I was sincerely confused. Calculus in discrete maths (the paper I’m going to sit in tomorrow)? And I have forgot it an hour later. What’s the probability I’ll be doing it? A big fat Zero.

And that is the problem with everything in my life – full of promise but half baked (I sound like Google). Actually I have done half the syllabus, and will be doing it later in the night, just don’t ask when (my future is a blank paper, don’t be a Ghajini now). But it’s just that I don’t feel like shooting for the moon. It needs effort and Discrete Mathematics is not the thing that I want to waste my time for, however much I like sets and relations. Facebook isn’t it either, nor is it Quora for that matter. It is another distant dream, which I feel will take over the world. It takes effort but it is in nature to keep my calm and swim with the flow. Maybe it is an excuse, but the thing is, I am not exactly pursuing the strategy of following my dreams.

And that’s exactly why I started a new series of ‘Live like you’re Dying’ – where I’ll explore things I always wanted to do. And how I’ll get about doing them. Just hope it doesn’t go down the path of those DOA *DiNG*s. Because it is one thing I actually want to happen… :)

Published in: on 5 Jan '11 at 8 pm  Comments (2)  

Live Like You’re Dying, Day One: Studying Like Never Before

Well this is the third day of the year, and I already don’t know what to do with the remaining 363 days. So, I’ve decided to transform this blog into a record of my intended activities that I don’t take up either due to laziness or due to lack of will. I wished more people would have read my blog coz this simply means I’ll be more responsible towards what I say. Therefore, I’ve started to publish the posts on FB also. So, here I begin what I want to do.

I have decided to start a series ‘Live Like You’re Dying’ – where I would simply take up something I want to do before my imminent demise. There are many things I ought to do, I need to do and I want to do. But they always been on the backburner due to more immediate concerns.


AimTo study for a minimum of 15 hours before I sit in the exam tomorrow. Only the time actually devoted to learning will be counted.


Why – It’s my exam tomorrow and I have not taken it seriously. FB is the culprit, and so is my Lappie. But no more. I’ll do it – 1) because I need it, and 2) because it means I can achieve unrealistic targets, as I have never in my life studied for more than 10 hours, even in the direst of situations.

Plan – I’ll get my cell and charge it fully. Coz it will be my constant companion in this life-critical mission. It will serve as a timer-cum-alarm-cum-clock for me. I’ll say no-no to Lappie completely. Let’s see where can I dump it for a day. But hey! It’s my Java exam and I need to do programming. So, I’ll hide my ethernet wire somewhere. And have to collect all my books, pen, food, water, pillow et al in one place to minimise wastage of time.


Wish me good luck, as this is my debut adventure. Don’t want to fail at the start line.

Published in: on 3 Jan '11 at 12 am  Leave a Comment  

it’s my freshers tommorow!!

My blogs typically have been virtual diaries for me. If ever I lie in them, I have a guilt that haunts me for weeks. So, I have decided to be truthful and not say anything that is far from truth. That is, this blog will represent the frame of my mind at ‘that’ particular instant. More like a text-based camera. And I’m still in the search of the real me. Stumbling, facing or running away from life – each opens up a new aspect of me. And all thanks to FB, I like to share it all.

Well, today is a rather important as well as controversial topic. My Freshers. Now it is important because it has occupied my mind since like, the last couple of days? and controversial because even if a single person from my college gets to read it, I’m dead. Literally. Can only hope my readers keep this info with themselves only. *Fingers crossed*

Let’s start from the scratch. Before college, to me freshers was an important part of our college welcome. And I was mentally preparing how to get talking to my seniors. Since I am reserve by nature, I actually made elaborate plans in my mind how to overcome this inertia and how to get talking to random strangers, just like that.

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Published in: on 20 Sep '10 at 7 pm  Comments (2)